REVIEW: Dark Shadows

Nebulous
Review by Vives Anunciacion
Published May 14, 2012
Inquirer Libre

Dark Shadows
Directed by Tim Burton
Based on the 1960s US TV series

Never before have I been confused whether to like a Tim Burton movie or not. The good news is that Dark Shadows is still unmistakeably a Tim Burton movie. The bad news is that you’ll wonder if it’s really a Tim Burton movie.

Either the colors weren’t psychedelic enough for its 70s vibe, or the sky wasn’t gloomy enough for a film called Dark.

Ever since Edward Scissorhands (1990), a Burton-Johnny Depp tandem was almost always a guarantee that the movie would be unlike anything we’ve seen before. That a Burton movie has a brand of uniqueness – weirdness – that can only emanate from the director’s trademark unruly hair. This is the first time I’ve seen his work lose that appeal. The weirdness is there, but the uniqueness is not.

Based on the hit 1960s US daytime soap opera of the same name (which I doubt if it was aired here), Dark Shadows the movie takes a quirky approach to the story of Collinsport, Maine, particularly the village’s most famous resident, Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp).

Barnabas was a rich playboy heir to a fishing empire in the 18th century, until one of his obsessed mistresses, the entrancing witch Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green) curses him to become a vampire. Locked in a coffin and buried, Barnabas is accidentally freed 200 years later and emerges into a modern, hippy 1972 Collinsport. Suddenly, this vampire needs to learn to disco.

Narrated by Barnabas in a particular manner of speech (in the Shakespearean sense, he “spake nobly as a gentleman,” though I think Depp was more playful with words in Sweeny Todd (2007), the story revolves around Barnabas’ attempt to revive his family’s fortunes, threatened by an undying enemy – Angelique’s panties.

The talented Ms. Michelle Pfeiffer is underutilized as Barnabas’ relative Elizabeth. Her first scene with Depp, Elizabeth’s encounter with Barnaby, is the only remarkable scene in terms of acting. Mrs. Tim Burton, Helena Bonham-Carter, plays Dr. Hoffman, psychiatrist to the weird Collinses.

Michelle Pfeiffer seemingly unconvinced.

While it seems that the production had all the fun making the movie, especially Green who plays an enchantress in many senses of the word, there’s not enough of that vibe emanating from the screen. It feels like Burton held back the camp and the weirdness, resulting in something that was not too funny, but not too dark either. I thought I was watching a half-hearted cross between Van Helsing and Pirates of the Caribbean.

All is not lost, because the film looks gorgeous. Colleen Atwood’s costumes enhance what fun and vigor the film needs. We’ll just have to blame an inert script for not inspiring Burton enough.

Dark Shadows may manage to pull a snicker here and a chortle there and even delight the typical Burton-Depp fan, however the film remains but a shadow of Burton’s former glory.

REVIEW: American Pie: Reunion

Retire this
Review by Vives Anunciacion
Published May 7, 2012
Inquirer Libre

American Pie: Reunion
Directed by Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg
R18 without cuts

Around twelve years after a gang of horny young American boys made cinematic history using apple pie, the boys return to East Great Falls, Michigan for high school reunion. In many ways, they haven’t grown up (a convenient excuse for “situation comedy”). Same thing with the humor.

The movie is about these guys…

Ironically, what annoyed me in American Pie back in 1999 (namely Sean Williams Scott’s Stifler and Jim’s dad played by Eugene Levy) are the very things that make “Reunion” work, the few times that it did. The rest of Reunion kept reminding me why the main cast doesn’t have a thriving film career since the first ”Pie” film.

…but these guys steal the show.

Jim (Jason Biggs) and Michelle (Allyson Hannigan) are married with a kid, Oz (Chris Klein) is a celebrity sportscaster, Kevin (Thomas Ian Nichols) is househusband to girlfriend Ellie (Charlene Amoia) and Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) is living the dream around the world – at least that what he says. At first they don’t tell Stifler about the reunion, but of course the resourceful Stifmeister – still residing in his mom’s house – manages to squeeze himself into every scene.

Whereas before it was about the gang’s sexual discovery before prom night, this time, despite the years, they find themselves still awkwardly transitioning into real mature men.

The humor is more or less the same as it was 12 years ago. That means mentions of bodily functions, toilet humor, Stifler’s brand of crassness and genitalia exposure. If that makes you giggly, this movie is for the pubescent in you. I laughed mildly three times while watching, and face-palmed myself twice. There are many references to the Pie series, so fans who grew up laughing with this barkada will most likely enjoy the same things in Reunion, with a hint of nostalgia and a little sentimentalism. Until Jim’s dad talks again.

Seeing how the cast has aged physically, I can say that Tara Reid (Vicky) and Hannigan have aged rather beautifully. Biggs, despite being at the center of the narrative, can’t pull the story together by simply doing the same mannerisms that made the young Jim in 1999 the adorable virgin dork. As I’ve said, the veterans make this blandly-written comedy (also the makers of the Harold and Kumar series) bearable to watch.

Scott, Levy and Jennifer Coolidge (Stifler’s mom) steal every scene they’re in, especially that credits scene with Levy and Coolidge that’s practically the funniest in the entire film. If that isn’t a sign that the series should end, I don’t know what is.